How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship
The quality of your life has a strong connection with how
healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying, because you can't manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you, they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of paying attention to the
positive aspects of your relationship.
If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other person changes, it's time to get real, because:
The Buck Stops With You.
Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example, maybe you think: "If only he was tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc?"? Whatever you put your attention on expands. If you only notice the things that annoy you about others, or if you focus on what you think they are not doing right, then you will only experience more of the behaviour that you are trying to avoid!
Try this exercise:
Think about this specific person, and write down the qualities you admire in them. Take the time to remember what drew you to them in the first place. Maybe they are great at making you laugh?they could be a good listener, or have a talent for organising things and events. Whatever you like about this person, write it onto a list!
And then look at this list every day.
By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention onto the positive aspects of the relationship and you will start to experience even more of these qualities that you like! Your
relationship will improve and the other person will start to become more loving, open and receptive towards you as well.
What About Those Things You Don't Like?
Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you get upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot be assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is that bothers you, you must understand this:
We criticize in others the very qualities that we dislike most about ourselves
We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When you look at another person, you are also looking at a version of yourself. Learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, and you will become more tolerant of what you see as their negative qualities. And remember, other people, are always a mirror to you.
If you want a great relationship, you need to pay attention to the way you react to people. And most importantly, treat others as you would like to be treated. You have the ability to create a happy, fulfilling
relationship, and if you learn to see yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more and more open to experiencing the good qualities those people.
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You are licensed to publish this article free of charge, on condition that the author's name is included, and the link to her
website remains visible and clickable to human readers.
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Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love,
relationship, the subconscious and much more on her
website Manifest Your Success
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
A framework is a partially complete software (sub-) system that is intended to be instantiated. It defines the architecture for a family of (sub-) systems and provides the basic building blocks to create them. It also defines the places where adaptations for specific functionality should be made. In an object-oriented environment a framework consists of abstract and concrete classes.
知识的最大作用是可以磨砺眼光、增强判断力。有人喜欢凭直觉行事，但直觉并不是可靠的方向仪。时代不断进步，我们不但要紧贴转变，最好还要走前几步。要有国际视野，掌握和判断最快、最准的资讯。不愿改变的人只能等待运气，懂得掌握时机的人便能创造机会；幸运只会降临有世界观、胆大心细、敢于接受挑战但能谨慎行事的人身上。 设定坐标(Identify your Coordinates)
商业架构的灵活制度要建基于实事求是、能有自我修正挽回的机制（Check and Balance）。我指的不单纯是会计系统，而是在张力中释放动力，在信任、时间、能力等等范畴建立不呆板、能随机应变的制度。大家也许听过我说企业应在稳健中寻找跳跃的进步，大标题下的小点要包括但不局限于：开源对节流、监督管治对创意和授权、直觉对科学观、知止对无限发展……等等。
他名成利就后不忘帮助年轻人找到自己增值的方法，在他"给一个年轻商人的忠告"（Advice to a Young
Tradesman ）文章内，他很实际的名句"Time is money，credit is money
"，将时间和诚信作为钱能生钱（Money begets money ）可量化的投资，在"财富之路"（The Way to
Wealth）一文内， 富兰克林清楚简单地说明， 勤奋、小心、俭朴、稳健是致富之核心态度。勤奋为他带来财富，俭朴让他保存产业。富兰克林13个人生信条他都写得简明扼要，生动活泼，很受当时人们的欢迎，节制、缄默、秩序、决心、节俭、勤勉、真诚、正义、中庸、清洁、平静、贞节、谦逊几乎全可作为年轻人的座右铭。
范蠡和富兰克林，两个不同的人，不同时代，不同文化背景，放在一起说好象互不相干，然而他们的故事值得大家深思。范蠡改变自己迁就社会，而富兰克林推动社会的变迁。他们在人生某个阶段都扮演过相同的角色，但他们设定人生的坐标完全不同。范蠡只想过他自己的日子，富兰克林利用他的智能、能力和奉献精神建立未来的社会。就如他们从商所得，虽然一样毫不吝啬馈赠别人，但方法成果却有天渊之别；范蠡赠给邻居，富林克林用于建造社会能力（Capacity building ），推动人们更有远见、能力、动力和冲劲。有能力的人可 以为社会服务，有奉献心的人才可以带动社会进步。
由于李嘉诚先生热心公益，对各地社会贡献良多，先后获英国剑桥大学、加拿大卡加里大学、内地北京大学、本港香港大学及其它大学颁授名誉博士学位。另获颁授巴拿马国Grand Officer of the Vasco Nunez de Balboa 勋衔、比利时国 TheCommander in the Leopold Order 勋章、英帝国KBE爵级司令勋章、香港特别行政区大紫荆勋章及获委为太平绅士，并刚于2005年1月获法国政府颁授法国荣誉军团司令勋章(Commandeur de la Lgion d'Honneur)。
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dimmer I had to stop for the night There she stood in the doorway; I heard the mission bell And I was thinking to myself, 'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell' Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) Plenty of room at the Hotel California Any time of year, you can find it here
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, She got the Mercedes Benz She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. Some dance to remember, some dance to forget So I called up the Captain, 'Please bring me my wine' He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since 1969' And still those voices are calling from far away Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Hotel California Such a lovely Place (such a lovely face) They livin' it up at the Hotel California What a nice surprise, bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling, the pink champagne on ice And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device' And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember, I was running for the door I had to find the passage back to the place I was before 'Relax' said the nightman, We are programed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
在中学毕业之后，Nelly Furtado来到了多伦多，白天在一家警报器公司工作，下班后的时间就到处去看音乐演出。Nelly Furtado还加入了当地一个hip-hop组合Nelstar，这给了她个人创作歌曲的机会。随后，Nelly开始在多伦多一个小俱乐部里演出，她的音乐才华也开始得到越来越多人的认可。一次，加拿大乐队The Philosopher Kings的两位成员Brian West和Gerald Eaton在看到Nelly Furtado的表演之后立即被她所吸引，并主动提出要为Nelly制作小样。在The Philosopher Kings成员的协助之下，Nelly Furtado成功与Dreamworks签约并在2000年秋发行首张个人专辑《Whoa, Nelly!》。2001年初，为了宣传《Whoa, Nelly!》，Nelly在美国举行了一次巡演，得到评论界和歌迷的一致好评。专辑中的单曲《I'm Like a Bird》和《Turn Off the Light》一时间成为歌迷们谈论的焦点。Nelly Furtado获得2001年第44届格莱美奖的四项提名，最终凭借《I'm Like a Bird》获得当年的最佳流行女歌手奖。
2003年9月，Nelly Furtado女儿Nevis诞生。11月，Nelly的第二张个人专辑《Folklore》正式发行。但《Folklore》是令人失望的一张专辑，发行后仅排在Billboard 200专辑榜的第38位，而且整张专辑中都没有一首像《I'm Like a Bird》一样的热门单曲。2006年6月，在两年半之后，Nelly Furtado带着她的第三张专辑《Loose》重返歌坛。《Loose》在发行首周的销量达到21万9千张，另Nelly轻松得到了她第一个 Billboard 200专辑榜的冠军。Timbaland不仅一人几乎包揽了本张专辑的制作，而且他与Nelly合唱的单曲《Promiscuous》也成为各国排行榜中点播率很高的热门单曲，最终在《Loose》上榜的第二天在Billboard Hot 100单曲榜中夺冠。
Say It Right lyrics
In the day In the night Say it right Say it all You either got it Or you don't You either stand or you fall When your will is broken When it slips from your hand When there's no time for joking There's a hole in the plan
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me No you don't mean nothing at all to me But you got what it takes to set me free Oh you could mean everything to me
I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark I can't say that I don't know that I am alive And all of what I feel I could show You tonight you tonight
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me No you don't mean nothing at all to me But you got what it takes to set me free Oh you could mean everything to me
From my hands I could give you Something that I made From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid From my body I could show you a place God knows You should know the space is holy Do you really want to go?
Strumenti 
Guida
我每次出门，在机场都看到有关于我的书籍，不知道为什么其中最多人感兴趣的题目，总是离不开我如何赚钱，既然那么多人有兴趣,我今天便选定了这题目。
